Some ask: Who is Eleazar? And who is PoTai?  I am not sure that I know either. -- Potai

Frequently-Asked Questions for Eleazar

by Eleazar, February 2009

        At times I have been asked questions that are not easy to respond to under the circumstances of the time. Other questions are not vocalized openly, but hang out there in the air like a bunch of ripe grapes that beg to be picked. This is an attempt to respond to such questions. None of it claims to be anything but an honest response to common inquiries.

        The following are not meant to be in any particular order:

Why did you write the narratives?

        They were written for me. I was the first benefactor of these writings. If no one else reads them, understands them, or even sees them, it's ok with me.

Who is Eleazar?

        Is that important to you? I took my legal name off of the TOG website a while back so others wouldn't start looking too closely at who I am. If you became acquainted with me personally, you might be disappointed.

Who is PoTai?

        I sometimes use that name too, but where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, I will claim that I don't own the name Potai any more than I own the name Eleazar (or any other name). Some might say that having two names is acting bipolar, but I would say that I'm not bipolar.  Nevertheless, I suppose that I might ask Potai to be sure. Ok. Well, Potai says “No, it's not being bipolar because it's just an act.

        Try not to be so intense and so serious. Life is better than that.

Do you have a following?

        Not one that I know about. Sometimes people have sought me out for more 'knowledge', but I try to act in their best interest and turn them away. Following other men is often what got us into frustration in the first place, so nothing would change if I accepted followers.

        It would also create work that I don't want to perform. We might rightly call it 'work for the dead'. There's plenty of people out there doing that already without any help from me.

Why don't you accept disciples?

        Look what it did for Jesus. It seems that disciples are the ones who are certain not to get what it means. If they got it, then they wouldn't need to be disciples.

        Who would you say that Jesus was a disciple of? Maybe that's the preferable way to go.

        Popular notions of requiring discipleship for spiritual advancement might be erroneous. First, discipleship tends to place a man in between another man and the source that he needs to find directly. There is also a popular notion that learning is better accomplished through a master-disciple relationship or, stated differently, that learning can't be done otherwise. Who said? It was probably some disciple that said that. Or maybe it was a bunch of disciples who said it after they took a vote.

        Try to get out of this leader-obsessive mind. It leads to building of the pyramid on which sits the beast-mind that everyone wants to look up to.

Do you claim to be the 'One mighty and Strong'?

        No and yes. That can be a foolish title that we are prone to heap upon our vanity. You might say that someone who thinks he is, isn't.

        You might notice that there are a lot of claimants for that role among fringe LDS culture. These are often claimants to the title of prophet, seer, or other such nonsense. They might cry in the wilderness, rightly so, or they might get a leg up and bring forth new scriptures that they don't understand any more than they understand what came before them. And if they are really unfortunate, they gain big followings.

        This sort of misery is often borne out of our vanity and sense of self-importance. But, at the same time, we should not look upon it as something that's wrong. That's because it's right for these and their followers. It's what they want to create, so it's what they experience, all for a greater purpose.

        In a higher sense of meaning, the One Mighty and Strong is in each of us. The One Mighty and Strong is to cleanse the Lord's House... the Temple. And we are that Temple. So, the house that needs to be cleansed is our own. When we think that we need to clean someone else's house, then we've taken the meaning and perverted it into carnal knowledge which becomes temporal. That will never last because of what it is. Nevertheless, it creates a lot of Hell in the mean time.

        A clearer way to see it might be that the One Mighty and Strong is the Christ. When we think we are the Christ to save those around us, we have usurped a role that isn't ours. One might be able to claim that they are a Christ, but not THE Christ.  The would-be savior is the great usurper. So, when someone claims to you that he is the One Mighty and Strong, try to understand what's happening.  It's just an act. Hell is knocking at your door and waiting for your reply (choice). And that's life. It's the second creation.  The first creation is forgetfulness.

Why do you sometimes seem so light-minded?

        I've always viewed myself as being far funnier than light-minded.  Moreover, I think I get more amusement out of what I say than anyone else does.

        I sometimes marvel at the wisdom in the LDS temple endowment when the patrons are charged with avoiding all “light-mindedness” (and loud laughter). Most haven't yet fathomed that this injunction can be taken in ways that are more profound and edifying than the obvious way it's taken.    

        When the endowment patron (as Fallen Adam) approaches the veil, he claims he is “seeking more light and knowledge”. Maybe that's the real “light-minded” that we should avoid... this seeking of more knowledge (light; re: Lucifer = light bearer) that got us in our Fallen condition in the first place.

        Loud laughter... that's a good one, isn't it?  What does that mean? That's a better joke that I could ever tell.  We might laugh when we truly get it.

        Maybe a higher meaning has to do with not being phony. Ever see someone laugh at a joke they didn't get? True mirth is personal and rises up from the gut rather than out of the mouth.

        And we need to go far beyond that. Life is more abundant when we recognize the real perfection in it and can laugh from the gut. Life is a better joke than we are prone to understand.

        What first appears as a great tragedy in life can also be understood as a comedy. We men are pathetic. And that's funny when we see more clearly what we couldn't see clearly before. Faking it will no longer be required.

        This doesn't mean that there are no tragedies in life. Well, apparent tragedies. As carnal men, we place way too much emphasis on the importance of this world. It's not meant to be our home. It's just a place that we get trapped so that we can experience what real seriousness is about.

If you are so highly spiritual, then why aren't you the Prophet of the Church?

        Because that's not what it's about.

        Notice how this question is similar to this one: “If you are so smart, then why aren't you rich?”

        We might try to consider the possibility that these worldly notions of greatness are turned upside down. Fame (with it's accompanying sibling, worldly accomplishment) is something that the world bestows upon those who do not yet comprehend their own misfortune

        Getting out of Hell is something that's very personal and the exit from Hell is from the bottom rather than the top. That is, we cannot go to the top of the great pyramid (re world; Egypt) to find our way off it it and become free. That's because rising to the top of the pyramid doesn't give one ascendancy over it, but it works the other way around in that it entraps us. We get freedom when we give worldly aspirations up, go back to the bottom of the pyramid, and then walk away. In terms of symbolism, try to see the meaning of the pyramid as an artificial (man made) mountain. Artificial mountains cannot bring one to ascendancy in living any more than possessions bring one freedom or worldly authority brings rule.

        Many who've traveled the path to abundant life pass away into anonymity. No one really knows them and few may remember them. But, that isn't important to them, so they leave the world as it's been and is. There are greater things ahead. And a power greater then they already shows the way for anyone who wants to go that way. None of us are needed as much as we are prone to think we are.

        So, that might be why we don't see those who understand in the world around us.  We don't see them because we don't see.  We look for the wrong thing and we search in the wrong place.

        In regard to the first part of the question, I don't know who claimed I am spiritual, but I suppose that I should be flattered at such a proposal. I admit it seems that I've been cast out into Hell (the Telestial World) because the prison-body is here. That must also mean I had to be a great liar to get into Hell in the first place. But, I am trying to give that up, so that disqualifies me as a church leader.

Why do you criticize the Prophet of the Church?

        My first desire was (and still is!) to understand what is going on. Discovery is the activity of children who enjoy life. We might want to see beyond that Prophet-Leader nonsense and not get caught up in the mind of the herd that perpetuates the burdensome War in Heaven. There never was a war that mattered except the one that you will fight in your own soul.

        Like the leaders of all churches, the Mormon Prophet-Leader is a thief. Christ comes as a thief in the night, right? The thief will take what we value the most so that we will find that which has the most value. When we come to comprehend the meaning of that, we might find it to be much more positive and promising than how we once conceived it. We might come to know perfection better than we've imagined it.

Why do you fight against the Church?

        I've given up the fight and quit the war, although the Church hasn't and, I expect, never will. Like the proverbial War in Heaven, there never was a useful war that happened except in the carnal mind. You might say this war is a one-sided conflict. You might say that I used to fight with the church, but that was when I was fighting on their side of their great War. But, now that's becoming a waning memory for me, like a forgotten dream.

        We might also examine what we say when we believe in the reality of a War in Heaven, that is, God versus Satan or the Father versus Lucifer, good versus evil, reality versus illusion, truth versus falsehood.  These ideas presume a lot, don't they?   One thing they rest upon is a great belief in Lucifer as a worthy opponent who rises to be omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient (like God).  So, when we believe in the reality of a War in Heaven per the popular view, what are we really saying about ourselves?

When did you lose your testimony?

        I wouldn't say anything was lost, but rather that old notions are comprehended in newer ways. It was knowledge that I once believed was valuable to me, but now this is seen with new eyes. So, I would say that I never lost anything. I still know where it is, so it can't be lost. It's much more profound to say that I lost it when I had it.

        Consecration requires that we give up all that we hold most dear. And, what is most dear to us? Devout LDS might claim their testimony is what they value the most.  What has the highest value to them is what they “know to be true”... their testimony, their knowledge.

        For the devout, giving up what they value the most, their testimony, is an incredible task. But, consider this: Could this 'sure knowledge', what we call a 'testimony', be the very thing symbolized by the fruit of the Tree that caused Adam to Fall?

        Says Eve after taking a bite of the fruit: “It's delicious to the taste... and very desirable!” Eve has been saying that for a long time. One might say that Eve didn't consume the fruit, it consumed her. It happened so completely and thoroughly that Eve is oblivious to anything being different than what she believes. But, there comes a time to move on to better things and see beyond that lie we so voraciously gobbled down in the Garden.

        But, that's an integral part of it, isn't it? Knowledge: Becoming completely consumed by it is integral to the experience. It has to be that way for it to be that way. Knowledge is not something one can fake belief in. To become Fallen, the belief must be thorough and complete.

        Now, look back at your question and examine how it is phrased. It implies that something (a testimony = knowledge) was lost, but it shouldn't have been lost because it's delicious and desirable (and valuable).

        So, maybe the question being asked has an underlying presumption built into it that's dishonest. Yet, at the same time, try to see all of this as a potential (positive) discovery rather than in a negative way.

        Let me ask: Do you ever feel frustrated by the Church and what it offers? Do you ever feel hungry for more? If not, then why are you here? Why are you looking for more?

        That, of course, is despite still being in the act of seeking for wisdom in the wrong place. We Fallen and carnal beings excel at turning that mistake into a new form of art.

The scriptures tell us that God will perfect his church and complete his work.

        Well, we can read that in different ways. The seventh day of creation claims that God completed his work. So, maybe the church is already perfect.

How can you say that the Church is perfect? Even as a member of the church, I wouldn't agree with that.

        Try to imagine bigger, further, wider, and try to put away all of your preconceived notions. Afterwards there will be more openness to understand the answer to these questions.

        Perfection is also much bigger than the Church. That is, it's not just the LDS Church, but all churches and, even bigger than that, all things are perfect. We have a tendency to view only a part of the larger picture, so it's an incomplete view. It's admittedly a big idea for us to wrap our minds around.

        The Church being perfect doesn't mean that there is no lying, no nastiness, no arrogance, no slavery, or no frustration. Perfection is also about fulfilling a purpose. The Church is perfect for the same reason the Law of Moses (a taskmaster) is perfect. Man is not meant to serve the Church, but the other way around. It's the same with the Law. The Law was always meant to serve (carnal) man. Better said, the Law is made to serve the dead.

        But, it's also much more than fulfilling a purpose in terms of serving the need of those who are (spiritually) dead. Life is the reason. It's integral to the reason for being.

        LDS missionaries pose three questions to their prospects: (1) Who am I ?; (2) Where did I come from?; and (3) Where am I going? Well, only the first question in this list really matters, but let's rephrase the latter two questions into a better one: “What am I doing (here)?”. It's not about what went on or what will be going on as much as what is going on now. So, what is it? What's really going on?

        Well, it's all about living... about (re)creating. It's about re-creating ourselves and then, by experiencing our creations, coming to a new understanding of who we are. So, in a way, the first question of 'Who-am-I' is always being answered in newer ways. If someone asks us who we are, a profound response might be: “I am discovering that.”

        We might say that we've lost our imaginations and gained great arrogance when we think we know the answer to who we really are. That type of knowledge might serve us for a time, but it will always fail us because of the nature of knowledge (it's temporal).

        Life is not an end, but a means. That is not meant to say life is a means to an end, because it's not. Life is an eternal process that has its purpose embedded within it. Eternal life is happening now. Too many think that life is something we get in the future as a great reward for good works. No. We have our reward. But, it might be better to say that we receive our reward as life goes on.

        So, we need not wait for life to come to us at some future date because it's already here. All we need to do is receive it now. Eternal life is here now to be experienced, despite our suffering in this temporal world. The nature of the temporal world offers us a myriad of choices by sharing with others in this (re)creation that is going on. 

        And temporal is just that, perfect, because of the reason. Yet at the same time, try not to cling to it unto death. That is, try to better understand it for what it really is: temporal; illusionary; a small part of the big picture. Consider the prospect of bigger and better re-creations to experience than what is now seen. Then your outlook will be brighter and more perfect than it is now.

        Scientists will tell you that the definition of life embodies a requirement for adaptation to an inevitable change. That's profound in terms of the meaning beyond what is being said. We men are prone to say more than we really mean. That's how devils can speak great truths, despite the truth not being in them.  The truth is not in them because the truth is beyond them.

        Why is the church perfect? Well, it's the same reason that the temporal world is perfect. It provides the essential substance out of which God can re-create himself. So, it's not that the only perfect thing is the Church, as some mistake as the great truth, but that all things are perfect.

        In truth, there is only one being that lives. The appearance of men is an illusion that serves a greater purpose: So that we, none of us, have to be alone. Life is the answer to the question of what is the purpose of life; The question of the purpose of life carries with it it's own answer. And the reason for being is (always being) answered by the same. Find it and you will get an authentic laugh that comes from your gut. The future will look brighter and the hope that we've struggled to preserve in us will be found again.

What's the best advice that you can offer me?

        Forget everything that I've told you. Then start to live on your own without so much reliance on what appears before you. 

I have so many questions. Where can I get answers?

        Go nowhere. Nowhere means now and here. Wake from your sleep. Ask those questions quietly within yourself. Feel them in your being and hold them there. Be alert to what happens next because the answers will find you.

        From there, it's up to you what to do after that.  It's your choice. It's always been like that. And damnation isn't something we endure forever, but it might seem like it is. Life will go on, no matter where you are.

Will you write more narratives and post them on this website?

        I don't know. I'll see.

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