More is what we seek, although that isn't what we need. What we need is already here and always been and will be. We seek in the wrong place. This might appear as mistaken, but it might not be. Until we find, we search. In the end, we find that which was first. The first becomes last. The fish is the fisherman. -- PoTai

More, More Sayings of PoTai

March, 2009


Sometimes we talk even though none else are listening. Each individual is the first listener and perhaps the first speaker as well. That's what it's really about isn't it? Creating is meant to be for the sheer joy of creating. Creating automatically fills it's own purpose in the presence of the creator. We are the first experiencer. That's where it all begins and ends.

Man is God, but God is much more than a man. LDS cosmology claims that God has a body of flesh and bones. Much credence is given to that and many are mislead as to what that means. God is also without body. If you ask to meet Christ, a man may come to you. That man will not be the true Christ because there is something beyond that which is not seen. For one to see the Christ, there needs to be something beyond the mere act of looking with the eyes. There has to be a comprehension, an understanding, a perceiving of what is there. The man who comes as Christ might even do you a favor and kick you in the face. That happens so that you won't be misled into believing that a God is only a man. The worst thing that can happen by you is that you believe in him, the man. That will be sure to bring suffering, but it works to a good end. Either way, be thankful for it. It's something you do to yourself that you might understand.

I am what I am, not what I was. I won't be what I am not yet, because that will only happen the way I am. I am change itself, yet at the same time, no more or less than what is right now. Yesterday's memories need to be let go and the aspirations of tomorrow forgotten. Only then do we live. And even in the moment of now, the ego must rest upon the altar of sacrifice so that the doer can become the done, the knower can know the known and the seer can see the seen.
 
God is unknowable until something happens, being. But, God was before that time. We might ask: What is before the first cause?; What is before the beginning? It is said that 'In the beginning there was God', but few ask what was before the beginning. We concern ourselves with beginnings and endings, but don't know what's always been. We don't know what is eternal.

Don't believe me because of these sayings. Once we know, once we understand, there is no need for these stupid sayings, is there? It is wisely said that a prophet is without honor in his own country. In such a country of prophets, no prophet is needed. That's because everyone already knows. So, the prophet isn't special in any way. If you ever see a prophet, then you know something else that comes with him: that country in which he is, is suspect. That country is probably messed up, Fallen. And the prophet is one who is probably involved in the messing of it. If a prophet is truly in his own country, then the country is not messed up. And when a country is messed up, then the prophet is probably messed up too. That's why it's said to be his own country and not someone else's.

When you hear someone quoting others all of the time, you will know they have found no wisdom in themselves. If that wasn't true, then there would be no need for quoting someone else. One cannot shine their own light if they have not found it. Such a one must resort to shining the light of others. More importantly, we should listen to ourselves. That's important to notice so that we might see our own poverty. Our poverty will need to turn to a hunger that can no longer be filled by an artificial wisdom.

Inner space is much bigger than outer space.

There is this saying that what is loosed in heaven is loosed on earth and what is bound in heaven is bound on earth. To understand this better, think of what the words mean. Binding is slavery and loosing is freedom. Yet, we tend to think of that the other way around, don't we? Why? Who convinced us that binding is freedom and being loosed is slavery? It might be someone who can't be trusted without having some sort of contract in place. But, if you can't trust someone without a contract, what makes us confident that we can trust such a person with one? The world works that way. The world loves contracts. And in the world, contracts are broken as often as the night comes. Who is it that needs a contract to be good, honest, and forthright? Such a person can't be trusted. So, we might want to look at this saying in a new way. Maybe it means something else that's more profound than the way it is popularly seen.

Others have said that life is not a noun, but a verb. That's insightful. So, Eternal Life is the same. Eternal Life is not something that you get in the future, then have it, but it's something you are doing right now. Now may not seem like Eternal Life, but that's because we've polluted it.
Sometimes, that which has the least value is what we value the most. Although it goes unnoticed by us, that is what leads to our suffering. It is said that money is the cheapest thing that one can have. Yet, this cheapness is what is sought at great effort. There are a lot of people with money who are poor and a lot of people without money who live rich lives. Money is related to the ego. One might say that the value of money rises with the ego. I once asked a Christian friend a question: “Jesus said that it is 'easier for camel to enter the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven'... so, why is it that we want to be rich?” My friend was taken aback for a moment, but then recovered like a professional. He began explaining that money isn't bad because it can be used to accomplish good ends. In that answer, there was a great poverty being revealed that he didn't notice. This was despite his own possession of a lot of money.

Be yourself. Happiness happens when we are ourselves. Suffering comes when we try to live as someone else. All of the great men in history lived as themselves. They were creators, not copiers.

Our prayers are always answered, but not how we speak them. We don't get what we want, but rather what we ask for. For example, when we ask for happiness, we might find that we run into a lot of frustration. We don't understand what's happening to us, but our prayers are being answered nevertheless. We might desire more money, recognition, and leisure, that we believe will bring us happiness. When we don't get these, we become frustrated. So, instead of receiving what we wanted, something that at best will bring a temporal counterfeit of happiness, we experience a great crisis so that what's needed for happiness might enter. Ask for holiness and you might get crucified. But, the crucifixion will bring holiness with a resurrection that rises out of that. So, we don't really get what we want, our desire, but we get what we hope for. Desires are often carnal and what binds us. Hope brings freedom. Our problem is that we don't really know hope until our desires have passed into oblivion. Rejoice in frustration and be hopeful in suffering. Death is meant to bring new life. Death is not an end, but a step into a new life. These are not bad things, but are good. That is a difficult idea to comprehend when our minds are wrapped up in the carnal world. But, when the carnal mind dies, the true consciousness rises up to take it's place. The mind remains; It doesn't really die; It's changed. An obsession with carnality dies, but the mind remains. Then there emerges a new experience of life.

It is said that ignorance is bliss.  However, such a bliss is counterfiet.  All that ignorance can bring is a counterfiet bliss.  It's exists like a house built upon sand.  When the storms come, the bliss will not only crumble into the sandy foundation, but will plumb the depths of misery to the same degree that it appeared to rise above it.  Man cannot find true happiness in ignorance.

Knowledge and ignorance are not opposites, but synonyms.   Understanding is what disperses ignorance.  Moreover, understanding comes from the soul rather than the mind. One can have a lot of knowledge and be ignorant at the same time.   Computers can store facts, but have no understanding.   It's much worse when a human acts out the way of the machine.  It might be said that he loses his soul when this is done.

LDS scriptures say that intelligence cannot be created or made.   That would mean that all the intelligence that exists, already is.  The funny thing about that is that carnal man has a difficult time fathoming infinite intelligence that already is.  This is despite it being behind all forms, all images, all objects, all beings, and all experiences of them.  It might rightly be said that intelligence is in front of all these things, but the madness that comes upon carnal man places it last.   Man vainly seeks intelligence and believes he can gain more of it.  The truth of it is that carnal man fails to see what already is.   When it's uncovered, intelligence makes a magical transformation.  It turns into comprehension.   We sometimes experience that during an epiphany or sudden realization of meaning.  It's the moment when a joke is gotten and then laughed at heartily.  It's a real experience that rises from the gut and is wonderful.  

It's said that the glory of God is intelligence.  That's right, it's one thing appearing by two names.  The problem is that carnal man thinks of glory in terms of blazing lights, sirens, beating drums, parades, and great spectacles.  As a result, the coming of Christ is expected to be a grand show accompanied by all of these things.  But, that isn't the glory spoken of.  Moreover, it's not even a good counterfiet.  The glory of God can be felt with the heart rather than seen with the eyes.   It pierces the soul rather than blind the eyes and deafen the ears.  It isn't a public show, but a personal exerience.  It isn't meant to be consumed on the lusts of the carnal senses, but rather to fill the void, heal the wound, gladden the heart, and comfort the soul.

The wonderful experience emerges when we can see ourselves as we really are.  We are nothing.  Our vanity prevents us from seeing our nothingness.  Wonder happens when we comprehend all if it, everything that is.  In a magical way, we able to comprehend all of it, yet at the same time we can't.   When we begin to see God as being both in us as well as outside of us, then we enter into the joy of discovery again.  Discovery isn't an event as much as a process that continually happens.  Discovery is what eternal life is about.  Discovery is our destiny.   It's why becoming a child again is so important.  In becoming that child again, there is releasing of all of the old notions that we, as adults, cling to unto death.   Children do not need baptism because they are before that.  Children are before a need to be immersed in the water because they are already living in it.   Living the wonderful experience includes a joy of discovery that happens when we live as children again.

Carnal man lives out his life swimming upstream against a strong current.  He might gain a little by that effort, but in the end, he goes where the current takes him.  Does a fish worry about where he is taken?  A salmon, which normally lives in the ocean, will swim upstream to spawn.  For a salmon, that ends in death.  For a salmon, that's acceptable.  For men, it isn't, that is, men don't expect death to come from their great effort.  Salmon seem to want it, but men don't.  Death is the last thing men will say they want to come of their effort.  

Becoming a child again includes an unburdening of the demands of mortality that so many of us adults worry about.   Children are like birds, flowers, and trees, who do not labor for their existence.  Children leave such labor to adults to worry about.  That's a metaphor for adults to discover the meaning.  Adults, like children, need not labor or stress about their future.  When we worry about our future, then what are we saying about our view of who we call our Father?  We labor because we believe that it's our destiny to do that.  We labor because we don't have any confidence that God is already doing that for us .  In LDS religion, there is a concept of Calling and Election being made sure.  What that's really about is becoming a child again.  It's about understanding what is going on.  It's about living again like a child, a bird, a flower, a tree, who does not go out for labor.   It's about forgetting about the labor in seeking a reward that we never seem to find.  It's about having the reward.  

(Note added after writing some of these:   I noticed that I misspelled counterfeit several times in the above.  I decided not to go back and correct the mistake.  Such events are not always mistakes.   It may offer a new meaning to the word.   That is, misspelling counterfeit is exactly that.... a counterfiet of conterfeit. So, maybe it's best that it stands as it is)


Carnal man is an aspiring tyrant.  He mistakenly sees his failure to find fulfillment in terms of obedience.  This, he believes, includes his own obedience to higher beings as well as the obedience to him by others who are lower than him in the hierarchy of authority.  Carnal man fails to see that his continual experience of failure and frustration come from his own madness.  Ironically, carnal man fails to see that the real problem lies in his erroneous point of view.  In his madness, his mistaken perspective is the last thing that carnal man suspects as being the problem.  As a result, he aspires to authority, and in acting out that aspiration, falls into being the first victim of his own tyranny.  So, he succeeds in his aspirations and, at the same time, fails to see what he has become.  He fails to see that he is the one who becomes bound up by his own tryanny.   (note in proof:  mispelling of tyranny originally unintentional, but left as it was written because of an additional meaning that emerges from the error)

It's said that the waters of Eternity flow from beneath the temple.  These waters are those of understanding.  Carnal man is often given childish stories that he can understand because he is unable to understand.  So, he is told to build his house on a rock, an idea in which he can find benefit.  It is rightly said that the church is built upon a rock.  But, it is also written that a stone will roll forth from the mountain to crush all things.  Does carnal man think his precious house will be left unharmed?  A better foundation is built upon water, those same waters of understanding that the temple is to be founded upon.  That's a hard idea to grasp by those who need childish stories.   The waters of life flow from beneath the temple rather than out of it or over it.  This is meaningful.  It's hard for carnal man to relate to water being a foundation, but the meaning that emerges out the symbol of water is much higher than foundations of stone.   It is said that man's heart can be as cold as stone.  Stones symbolize death, unyielding coldness, the demands of the law, the thief, and the church.  Water means life, change, and what came before the dry land appeared.  Think upon that.  Find those waters spoken of.  It's there that one finds life.  

Everything I learned as a devout LDS was true, but the way I believed it was mistaken. What I heard didn't change, but my point of view changed.  When we believe lies, it's not because of something that's outside of us. 

There is nothing wrong except what we believe.  Wrongness is a belief system that one falls in love with and gets mad as hell at in the marriage.  It always seems to frustrate us with it's infidelity, but we can't seem to turn loose of it.  We will give these beliefs up, in time, because Legion and infidelity are it's names.  Our frustration will eventually lead us to that.  We might mourn for a short time, but after we comprehend what has happened, we will be thankful it's been this way.  We will understand how we did something we didn't have to do.

Too many of us believe in belief.  What we call belief brings death;  Faith brings life.  The first is a law unto itself that tends towards inflexibility.  The latter is nourishing, growing, invigorating.  Belief is a confidence game.  Faith is not based on confidence.  Belief becomes law.  Faith is beyond law.  Many who believe they have a lot of faith, don't have any faith.  Belief requires you to remember sayings such as these.  Faith allows you to forget them. 

You don't stop living when you die, but sometimes it will seem like it.

The church and the law are the same thing.  The restored gospel is the restored preparatory gospel.  It's been this way for a long time and there is nothing wrong in it except our own foolishness.  We can leave the church, but that doesn't mean that we are free of the law.  The law tells us what's true, despite our error in seeing what it means.  It's like the old addage of fingers pointing at the moon.  We need to stop looking at the fingers and then look where they are pointing.  When we obsess ourselves with the church, the gospel, prophets and all of the other tokens of the law, we are looking at fingers and, at the same time, missing what they symbolize.  We are looking at the wrong things.  There is great wisdom in how things are.  When we can comprehend the reason for the law, then we will become free of it.  It's understanding that free's us.   After we understand the reason for the law, then there is no longer a purpose for it.  

We do not become free of Babylon by fleeing it.  To become free of Babylon, we need to get Babylon out of our hearts.  Then we can be present in Babylon without being polluted in ourselves.  Babylon, with all of it's artificialness, will take on a new meaning for us.

There are no coincidental coincidences and no accidental accidents.  There is intelligence in all.  And what appears to be great tragedy and great injustice has a higher purpose which will be understood when a bigger picture is seen.  It is said that life is unfair.  But, we might see that it's earthy existence that's meant in that statement.  Yes, earthly existence is unfair.  Yet at the same time, there is wisdom in it.  If it was fair, then we would be trapped in an existence which isn't meant to be our home.

Earth life is full of injustice. That's because we fallenl asleep and are waiting to be awakened.  Injustice comes as an alarm clock that annoys us to wakefulness.  We want to turn that annoying alarm off, but is that the best for us?  Shouldn't there be an alarm to wake us from sleep?  Once we wake from our sleep, we will see things differently.  We will find amusement and amazement in what's happened.  We might even realize that it's been planned that way.  This should not be taken to mean that we are all right with injustice in the world.  There is another meaning to that.  It has more to do with opportunity than with self-annoyance. 

The Chinese philosopher LaoTsu is reported to have said that there exists an inverse relationship between understanding and the desire to communicate it to others.  I think I am beginning to understand.  It's a metaphor.  Those who want to spread the gospel are the same who don't understand it.  As one comes to understand the gospel, one sees that there is no need to spread it.  As one comes to understand what's happened, then one can also see what is happening.  The need is a creation.
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