Unconditional Love
By Pelatiah- April 2013

        This narrative is written with an LDS audience in mind but certainly has broader application to many outside the confines of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This narrative will discuss the personal situation of an active LDS couple (myself and my wife) with some added commentary and thoughts. These words are certainly not intended to be authoritative or representative of a set ideological path that needs to be followed. The words are nothing more than a reflection of what I have experienced and come to understand. To the extent they may benefit another who may or may not be in this particular situation, I do not know. Perhaps it may open another brother or sister to a new point of view and/or allow them to feel a new compassion and understanding for others. Something perhaps they have not previously felt.

        As active LDS members, we are taught and have our pre-conceived belief that there is only one particular path that leads back to “heaven” and there are fixed milestones and achievements that need to be met along the way so we arrive at our “destination”. Perhaps it is from hearing scriptural passages such as “...strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” (Matt 7:14), or “...For the gate by which ye should enter is repentance and baptism by water; and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and the Holy Ghost.” (2 Ne 31:17) These are true but perhaps perceived in the wrong way. We tend to focus more on the milestone (physical act or accomplishment), or the symbol as opposed to what it represents. Perhaps we should look at this life as a time to remember who we are (whole, complete, full) versus trying to become who we perceive we currently are not. We perceive ourselves as lacking, incomplete, less than the whole, sinners, or carnal as we strive all our life to become the antithesis of these things.

        Adam and Eve were deceived in the Garden of Eden. They were told the grandest lie of all. “Look, ye are naked (incomplete, lacking, less than the whole)!” What needs to be re-membered is what Adam and Eve perceived before and after the “fall”. Before the fall: “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.” (Gen 2:25) After the fall: “...I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.” (Gen 3:10) The mistake we make is to interpret these passages as referring to actual physical nakedness versus what they represent. Michael/Adam , and all of us, since we are represented by Michael/Adam, is an eternal being, an intelligence, an individualized portion of God himself. As one with God, he is unchanging, infinite, all there ever is and all there ever was. He was not ashamed because he knew conceptually that without the experience of a mortal body and a mortal existence, he was infinite, unconditional love and understanding with all “power”, wisdom, mercy, and judgment. But God (Adam, Eve, Us) needs to understand and know himself EXPERENTIALLY to fully comprehend who he/she is. But how can this be done? If God is unchanging, infinite, eternal then how can he be-come what he is NOT? The answer is that he CANNOT. God can never be what he is not, but he can understand better who he is by purposefully forgetting and having the perception of who he is NOT, through a mortal existence. In Moses 6:61 it states “Therefore it is given to abide in you; the record of heaven; the Comforter; the peaceable things of immortal glory; the truth of all things; that which quickeneth all things, which maketh alive all things, and hath all power according to wisdom, mercy, truth, justice, and judgment.” Can you look at this scripture in a different way now? So if Michael/Adam (infinite, intelligent being) wants to experientially understand who he is, since he cannot change who he is, his infinite nature, he has to dis-member himself. What does it mean to dis-member? Michael/Adam has to purposefully forget who he is. “And the Lord God (Michael/Adam, himself) caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: And he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man” (Gen 2:21-22) So what do we learn from this passage? Adam had to be put in a deep sleep (forget who he is, NOT change who he is) and from man (spirit) he formed wo-man (flesh). Can you see the layered symbolism of Adam dis-membering (forgetting) himself by take a rib (member) from himself to form woman? What is Adam commanded to do in the Endowment of the LDS temple? He is commanded to Awake and Arise. But does he awake? No, he simply arises and then passes through the lone and dreary world walking in his sleep. He is walking in darkness at noon-day (D&C 95:6) because he purposefully forgot who he is so can greater understand it by experiencing what he is not. Are you “seeing” now?  The purpose of this life is Awake and Arise. It is to re-member who you truly are. Where the One (man,spirit) has become two (man/wo-man) we must now understand ,re-member, or “become” ONE. What was first (infinite, eternal, unconditional love) has become last in our mortal existence. We put the body first. We now must re-member and make the last first again. This is what we as members of the LDS faith term, “putting off the natural man.” We “...becometh as a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love...” (Mosiah 3:19). It is through the At-ONE-ment this is accomplished. Perhaps we can substitute “becometh as a child” with “understand or re-member we are as a child”. What physical acts or ordinances or milestones does a child need to accomplish? The answer is none of course, since they are already whole (holy), and complete. Perhaps now you can see what has always been in front of you. What the scriptures, the ordinances, etc have always been pointing to. That instead of “becoming” like a little child (whole, complete, lacking nothing) we are here to remember we have always been that way.

        Here are some additional scriptures from the Gospel of Thomas that may help with these concepts:
Saying 22: “His Disciples asked him: If we are infants will we enter the Kingdom? Jesus responded:  When you make the two into one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the upper like the lower, and thus make the male and the female the same, so that the male isn’t male and the female isn’t female. When you make an eye to replace an eye, and a hand to replace a hand, and a foot to replace a foot, and an image to replace an image, then you will enter the Kingdom.”

Saying 114: “Simon Peter said to them: Mary should leave us because women are not worthy of the life. Jesus responded: Look, I’ll lead her in order to make her male so that she can become a living spirit as you males are. For each woman who makes herself male will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.”

        And one more scripture from Genesis 5:2 “Male and Female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.” (see also Moses 5:9)

        Now, many of these ideas may be new for you. I ask not that you accept them but perhaps now you will see how they can be applied in a real life example. Perhaps you will see how these concepts may help you perceive your fellow man. We tend to judge others, whether they are active LDS members, less active members or non-members, because they do not follow the path we view as the “strait and narrow” one. The path from which there can be no deviance if happiness and salvation are to be “obtained”.

        Let’s take my personal situation as a real life example. My wife and I are lifelong active members with several children. We have always fulfilled church callings faithfully and strived to be obedient to the counsel and teachings of church leaders. I can trace my lineage back to a prominent church leader. My wife is a third generation member with the first generation originating from outside of this country. Our oldest son is on a mission and our next son is preparing to leave. Despite all our efforts we have allowed some personality differences in our marriage to creep in over the years that at times had brought our marriage to the brink but we always seemed to overcome them. As part of my oldest son’s preparation to leave on a mission, he was challenged by the Stake President to attend the temple 30 times before entering the MTC. I decided to attend the temple once a week to set an example for my son and encourage him. What I discovered was quite extraordinary. I began to crave the experience of the temple each week, specifically the endowment session. I could not quite pinpoint the reason behind my newfound enthusiasm. Over the next year, I completed approximately 50 endowment sessions. I felt more fulfilled and as if a certain void that had been present all my life to varying degrees, had now been filled. I could not explain how or why. I began searching, studying, praying harder to find answers, for the further light and knowledge promised in the endowment. I began to understand that the ultimate “milestone” to be accomplished as a worthy, faithful member of the LDS church is to have your calling and election made sure and receive the Second Comforter. I began to further intensify my efforts, my study, my faithfulness to his callings, etc. Many, many events and experiences transpired where I began to understand true power and love comes directly from God with no intermediary needed. That understanding then slowly transformed to asking the question “If I can go direct to God, what role does the Church play?” This then led to further study and research about the history and current structure of the church.

        I had become attached somewhat to a particular author/speaker who had professed to have received the Second Comforter. I leaned on every word of his books and blog. One day I had a particularly profound experience that consisted of an extremely strong prompting, an experience with one of my children, and a deeply significant dream. The underlying message was “How long do you want to depend on messengers?”

        One by one the pre-conceived notions fell as I came to “see” for the first time. It was the most exhilarating and liberating experience of my life but at the same time, terrifying as I realized how embedded I was in the LDS culture. This would have significant implications on my family, friends, and entire social circle for that matter.

        I kept this to myself for several months. How was I to share this, and with who? Well, my marriage reached another critical breaking point where my wife and I simply were not getting along. We began considering our options which included separation/divorce. My wife wrote me a long letter that expressed her love but at the same time expressed her longing for someone that would accept her and love her unconditionally despite her shortcomings. This is the same thing I had yearned for as well. I wrote her a long letter back validating her concerns, expressing my deep love for her and a desire to stay with her for the long haul, for ourselves and our children. I felt strongly this was also the time I needed to tell her where I stood with the church. I laid it all out there in the note. She read it while I was at work and I anguished as I waited to hear word from her. She texted me later that morning informing me she was going to the Temple and wanted to talk afterwards. She ended the text with “I love you.” A warmth and peace came over me as my greatest fear was allayed somewhat, that she could possibly still love me despite my new understanding.

        My wife related to me later that as she passed through the veil and into the celestial room she began to cry uncontrollably. A matron came over to console her and ask what was wrong. She related to this matron that her husband informed her he no longer believes in the church and that she has a sonin the mission field, one preparing to leave, and two younger sons at home. Dear reader, can you feel her pain and anguish? Can you understand how she felt the “game” has now changed on her? Her dreams and aspirations of all her children serving missions and remaining faithful members of the church might not come to fruition. Her dream of serving a mission with her husband in the future was now gone. How do we raise our children now? Can you sense her pain and the understanding that her whole world has now changed? After much introspection she knew it boiled down to two choices. Stay or leave. She chose to stay. The next couple of months were agonizing. We had agreed to keep the status quo, where just her and I knew of our new reality. Our kids were still unaware. During this period, hardly a day would go by where she would not cry for her children. How would they be treated by friends, family, fellow church members? Oftentimes our discussions would bring some contention as I attempted to explain my new understanding and how it squared or did not square with LDS dogma and what we had both know all of our lives. Our relationship has evolved to where we can speak completely openly about our feelings and beliefs. Our second oldest son has also just become aware of the situation. We still have our rough days but they are coming far less frequently.

        In a way, this experience has further anchored her in her belief and standing as a member of the LDS church. I find complete contentment and fulfillment with my new beliefs. In a strange way, it has
strengthened our marriage to a degree not yet experienced in our relationship.

        The question now becomes can we both accept each other for who we are, even though we have completely different belief systems? I believe the answer is yes, and the answer is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. What does that really mean? It means that we don’t condition our love on whether or not we share the same path so to speak. It means we don’t reject each other for not accepting what we each individually consider is the one and only true path, the strait and narrow gate.

        Perhaps in searching for the meaning of life and the true path, it can be found by realizing that there is no one and only true path. That all these different paths can give us the illusion that we areseparate, divided, less than the whole. Perhaps when we realize we are all truly ONE, and we have just forgotten our true selves, we can consecrate that last portion of love we are holding back. That last little portion we hold back, conditioning it on the other person accepting what we believe to be the true path. As Jesus said in John 17:21 “That they all may be one, as thou, Father, are in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us...” This is true UN-CONDITIONAL LOVE.
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